Non-verbal communication is far more powerful than we realize. As a student of psychology currently pursuing my Master’s degree, I often find myself listening more to silence than to speech.
The pauses, the shifting of shoulders, the tightening of a jaw, the way eyes move when truth becomes uncomfortable — they all communicate something that words usually try to hide.
For years, I was told:
- “You overthink.”
- “You imagine too much.”
- “Don’t read between the lines.”
But patterns speak, even when people don’t.
And human behaviour, sooner or later, matches the signals it silently sends.
With time, many of these “assumptions” proved accurate — not because of guesswork, but because non-verbal communication is a language of its own.
It does not lie. It does not disguise. It does not require vocabulary.
It simply expresses.
What Non-Verbal Communication Actually Means
Most people believe communication is about what we say — but psychology shows that how we say it often carries more emotional truth.
Non-verbal cues include:
- eye contact or sudden lack of it
- tone of voice
- hesitation
- nervous laughter
- crossed arms
- leaning forward vs pulling away
- silence
A person may say, “I’m fine,” but their eyes may reveal disappointment, hurt, anger or fear.
Words convince the brain.
Non-verbal cues convince instinct.
The 7-38-55 Rule
Psychologist Albert Mehrabian proposed that communication is:
- 7% verbal words
- 38% tone of voice
- 55% body language
Scholars may debate the exact percentage, but the essence remains untouched:
✅ People can change their words
❌ But their body rarely lies.
This is why we sense when someone is pretending to be happy, hiding something, or uncomfortable — even without evidence.
Our subconscious notices micro-signals long before the conscious mind understands them.
Why Not Everyone Understands This Depth
With experience, I learned something quietly important:
Not everyone hears the unsaid.
Not everyone sees the invisible.
Not everyone wants to know the truth beneath the surface.
And so, I became selective.
- I do not speak every observation.
- I do not correct every distortion.
- I do not reveal every insight.
Some people prefer the comfort of words.
Some resist anything deeper than surface conversation.
Some feel threatened by those who understand too much.
And that is perfectly okay.
Depth is not meant for everyone.
Discernment is its protection.
How This Helps in Real Life
Understanding non-verbal cues helps in:
✅ relationships
✅ parenting
✅ business
✅ friendships
✅ conflict resolution
Examples:
- A smile with tight lips reveals forced politeness
- Avoiding eye contact indicates discomfort or guilt
- A change in voice pitch indicates insecurity
- Leaning away signals emotional distance
- Interruptions and quick replies reveal defensiveness
When you learn this language, communication becomes clearer — not harsher, just more honest.
A Book I Wish to Write
For a long time, I have imagined writing a book on this subject.
Its title has lived inside me:
✨ “The SAID and the UNSAID We Hear.”
Not academic psychology —
but real-life psychology.
Silent emotions.
Human behaviour.
The truth behind words.
A Thought-Provoking Article
Recently, I came across an article about the 7-38-55 Rule and its connection to Emotional Intelligence.
If this topic interests you, the article may open a door — one that teaches you to listen not only to words,
but to the spaces between them.
Final Thought
Some truths are spoken.
Some are whispered.
And some are simply felt.
Communication is not what we say — it is what we reveal without speaking.
Once you learn to hear the unsaid,
the world becomes clearer than ever.
The next time you are in a conversation, observe the pauses, the eyes, the shoulders, the way a person breathes. Non-verbal communication is the silent language of truth — and once you learn to read it, you will never hear words the same way again.
If you enjoyed this piece, you may like my reflection on Walking into the Forest within
Author’s Note
There is a language we all know, yet rarely acknowledge — the language of the unsaid. In writing this article, I wanted to give shape to those subtle truths that live beneath our interactions: a glance, a pause, a shift in tone. As a student of psychology and a seeker of quiet wisdom, I have learned to trust this invisible vocabulary. My hope is that these words help you recognise your own sensitivities and see communication not as sentences, but as energy. May this article invite you to listen differently — gently, intuitively, and with an open heart.
DISCLAIMER
This article reflects my personal observations and experiences as a student of psychology. It is not intended as professional advice, but as a perspective for awareness and reflection.
Copyright & Use Note
© 2025 Manju Hinduja. This article, “The SAID and the UNSAID: The Powerful Language of Non-Verbal Communication,” is original content.
Please do not copy, reproduce, or republish without permission.
Short excerpts may be shared with proper credit and a link back to this page.
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